


Trading Places

by huxduxtuxlux



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Very Merry Kylux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 19:51:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9139756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huxduxtuxlux/pseuds/huxduxtuxlux
Summary: aka "Walk a Mile in These Louboutins"Snoke has had enough of the hostile relationship between Hux and Ren. How is anything to get done when they're at each other's throats all the time?It's time for some kind of intervention.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for caezsucksdangs for the Very Merry Kylux Secret Santa exchange. Hope you enjoy!

Supreme Leader Snoke had had just about enough of Hux and Ren’s nasty attitudes. They were petulant, moody, and entirely uncooperative, like small children who lack the maturity to get over themselves for the greater good (the greater good being, of course, the First Order). If the First Order was to succeed, its leaders needed to get along. Snoke, however, had always been something of a hermit, and as such lacked the social know-how to help the General and the Knight resolve their issues. So, he called in another employee.

“Supreme Leader, your honor, how may I assist you?” Captain Phasma bowed before Snoke’s projected throne. Snoke had called on the Captain because of her experience training cooperative, cohesive units of stormtroopers. Surely she would have some ideas on how to make a good team out of Hux and Ren. The Supreme Leader explained the issue to Captain Phasma, who tilted her chrome-covered head in thought.

“Well, I like setting up team-based obstacle challenges for my troopers, such as three-legged races,” she answered.

“Oh, no,” Snoke said, shaking his head regretfully. “My extra-limb guy is on vacation, that won’t work.”

“I fear you misunderstand, Supreme Leader. A three-legged race is when you make two people stand next to each other, and then you tie their inner feet together, so they must walk together as a three-legged unit.”

“Oh.” Snoke considered this suggestion. “That seems a bit more feasible. Continue.”

“If two of my troopers are having personal problems with each other, I like to have them ‘walk a miliparsec’ in the other’s shoes.”

“Explain.”

“Well, I have them put themselves in their opponent’s position. If A is angry with B, maybe they just aren’t understanding where they’re coming from. If A experiences B’s experiences, and vice versa, they will better understand one another, and will cooperate more effectively.”

“And this works, in your experience?”

“Well, given that all the stormtroopers literally wear the same shoes, and have pretty much identical experiences, it isn’t a particularly useful tool for them. For the General and Lord Ren, however, I think you may have some success.”

“Hmm.” Snoke pondered.

“Fear also works. I like to threaten my stormtroopers with death if they don’t cooperate. Works like a charm.”

Snoke sniffed the air. “You are dismissed, Captain, thank you.”

 

* * * * * * * 

The following evening, after careful consideration and planning, Supreme Leader Snoke called a meeting between Kylo Ren, General Hux, and himself.

“There is a looming issue we must address,” Snoke began, looking down at General Hux and Kylo Ren. 

“The Resistance is gaining, we are aware,” Hux began. “And we’re taking steps to—”

“Not that!” Snoke shouted. Insubordinate bastards always making assumptions. Such children. He would replace them, if only there were others as capable and intelligent at his disposal. But no. As difficult as they were, Hux and Ren were the cream of their respective crops—Snoke would have to make do. “I am talking about the palpable tension between the pair of you. You cannot seem to work together as mature allies. You compete and nag and tear each other down. How do you expect to defeat the Resistance and find Luke Skywalker if you are too petty to work together?”

General Hux and Lord Ren exchanged a look of confusion. For once, it seemed they were on the same page. The page of disbelief. 

Hux turned his attention back to Snoke. “Supreme Leader, if I may, I don’t think—”

“Silence! Your observations do not interest me, General. Here is what’s going to happen: Lord Ren, you will take over the General’s tasks for the next few days. General Hux, you will assume Lord Ren’s duties.”

This time, Kylo Ren spoke up. “With all due respect, Supreme Leader, the General lacks the Force. How is he supposed to do my job?”

“And Ren has no military background,” Hux spat. “How are we supposed to complete each other’s tasks?”

Perhaps it was a trick of the eyes, but it sure looked like Snoke’s hologram shrugged. “Figure it out. Now. Switch attire.”

Ren and Hux both gaped. “What??”

“You will be literally wearing each other’s shoes. And everything else.” Snoke explained. “In order to work together, you need to understand each other. We should’ve done this a long time ago, but I didn’t think you would be such difficult, immature individuals. My mistake. Now, strip and switch.”

“R-right now? Here?” Hux managed.

“Yes, General.” Snoke sighed. “And I don’t have all day.”

Kylo Ren didn’t hesitate. His mask, which he had been holding under his left arm since entering the chamber, dropped to the ground. He began to strip confidently, unwrapping the cowl around his neck, unbuckling the belt around his waist, plucking off his gloves, and then pulling the long tunic over his head. Maybe Hux was mistaken, and it was his own insecurity that made him think so, but Ren seemed to pose under the soft lights. Ren’s bare, sculpted torso and the tight black leggings clinging to his muscular legs seemed to demand Hux’s attention. It did not make Hux’s disrobing any easier.

Hux carefully shrugged off his greatcoat and folded it gently. Next off came the fine leather gloves, and then the flat shiny belt, similar to Ren’s. Perhaps they’d have to keep their own—they were of similar height, but nowhere near the same size elsewhere. Ren’s belt would surely overwhelm Hux’s lithe frame. Hux undid the hidden buttons on his collar and inhaled sharply. The thick fabric and shoulder reinforcements on his tunic added substantial heft—it made him appear much larger, stronger, and more imposing than he really was. Taking it off meant vulnerability. Meant letting Ren and Snoke see him as he really was: thin, weak, soft. He pulled off the tunic is quickly as possible and grabbed for Ren’s, pulling it over his head and leaving himself uncovered for no more than five seconds. Ren, though, wasn’t paying attention—he was struggling to pull off his own leggings. When he handed them to Hux, the sweaty dampness was immediately apparent. Hux snarled. How absolutely disgusting.

Eventually they stood clad in each other’s attire, awkward. Ren couldn’t lift his arms without the seams of Hux’s tunic ripping, and Hux was practically drowning in Ren’s voluminous tunic/dress/cape hybrid. Hux did not put on Ren’s mask, however. The violent flare in Ren’s amber eyes warned him against it. 

Snoke took in the sight. They looked ridiculous, but it had to work. “Excellent. You will report back to me in five days. I expect a major shift in your relationship. If I am not satisfied, extreme measures will be taken. Dismissed.”

With that, Snoke’s projected image disappeared. Hux and Ren looked at each other. 

“This is a nightmare,” said Hux.

“No shit,” replied Ren.

Hux forced a smile—it looked more like a pained sneer. “Great. We’re agreeing already.”


	2. 2

It quickly became clear that in order for anything to get done, they’d have to do it together. So they split their days in half—Hux’s tasks in the morning, and Ren’s in the afternoon. Of course, a lot was left untouched. No Knights of Ren force training or anything similar. It ended being a lot of putting out (mostly metaphorical) fires, delegating tasks, and conducting meetings. Hux was miffed. The most important part of his job, in his opinion, was his designing Starkiller and managing its construction. With the weapon almost finished, there wasn’t much to show Ren that he hadn’t already seen.

“This is a waste of time,” Ren sighed, looking over Hux’s shoulder to view the datapad he tapped away on. Scheduling a Captains’ meeting. How fun. “I have better things to do.”

“Well, at least with you by my side I don’t have to worry about you destroying any more of my ship,” Hux muttered.

“Why do you always say ‘my ship?’ You don’t own it, you know.”

“Um, as General, I kind of do.”  
“You don’t outrank me, you know,” Ren hissed.

“Ah, so we’ve found the source of your pettiness!”

“My pettiness?!” Ren was incredulous. “You think I’m the problem? You are constantly undermining me and fucking tattling to Snoke.”

“If my tattling you mean giving accurate reports about the going-ons on my ship, then okay, sure, I’m ‘tattling,’ you absolute child. But you want to talk about undermining? With you questioning my methods at every turn, arguing with me in front of my men…well, we can add hypocrisy to your long list of faults.”

Ren scoffed. “You would keep a list. Anal nutjob, stick up your ass grade-A asshole—”

Hux smirked. “Obsessed with my anus. Another one for the list.”

“You piece of—” 

“S-s-sir?” 

Hux and Ren wheeled around to see Lieutenant Mitaka standing in the doorway, shaking like a leaf. Mitaka looked at Ren questioningly. It occurred to Hux that he’d probably never seen him without his mask, and may not know who is.

“Mitaka.” Hux sighed. “What?”

“The cannon mechanics need to speak with you about something about, like, um, the cannons—”

“Yes, Mitaka. Fine. Send them up,” said Hux.

“And get some help for that speech impediment while you’re at it!” Ren called as Mitaka scurried away.

“Stars, Ren. You are needlessly cruel.” Hux sighed.

“Yeah, well.” Ren leaned back against the console and crossed his arms across his chest. Or rather, he tried to, but the pull of the too-small sleeves made it difficult. He dropped his arms by his side. “I’m gonna go work out while you deal with this whole mechanic situation.”

“No you aren’t,” said Hux. “You’re going to deal with this with me. In fact, you’re going to take the lead on it. Try not to kill anyone.”

“But you’re going to stay here, right?” Hux couldn’t be sure, but he thought he detected a little bit of anxiety in Ren’s question.

“Yes, I’ll be here. Hey, since we’re doing the whole trading places thing, can I use your lightsaber? Terrorize my staff with it?”

“Fuck you.” Ren hissed. Hux just laughed. Despite himself, Ren did, too.

 

* * * * * * * * * *

 

The morning meetings went on just fine, though Ren got more aggressive than necessary on multiple occasions, forcing Hux to jump in. Only a handful of the people they interacted with that morning were aware that the pale, mole-faced young man snarling at them was Kylo Ren. 

They ate their lunch together in a meeting room. At Snoke’s instance, really the only substantial time they could spend apart was sleeping and bathroom breaks. Meals, leisure time, everything was to be spent together. They separated briefly to go to their respective quarters to grab their lunch bags before reuniting at the long table in the boardroom. Hux sat at the head on the north side. Ren considered sitting next to the opposite head, in order to avoid direct eye contact with Hux, but ultimately decided that by not sitting at the head, he would be indicating that Hux outranked him. He couldn’t do that, of course, so he sat awkwardly across from Hux, ten feet of table between them. Ren initiated a stare, a glare, a power-play, daring Hux to play chicken and look away first. Hux wasn’t into playing games.

Hux rolled his blue-green eyes. “For fuck’s sake, Ren, it’s lunch time. Can you relax for 30 minutes? I’m too hungry to play your dumb games.”

Ren didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing. They both unpacked their lunches and began eating. The silence was disturbing. Ren, used to quiet and meditation, didn’t seem to mind, but Hux was uneasy. He searched for something to talk about.

“Oh!” Hux exclaimed. “I bumped into Phasma when I was getting my lunch.”

Ren was aware that Phasma was something of a mutual friend. Ren worked out with her often, while Hux saw her as the only person on the ship he could have interesting discussions with. “Yeah?”

“She said Mitaka was babbling at lunch about ‘the General’s mean new boyfriend.’ After he described him and the situation, Phasma realized he meant you.”

Ren choked on his protein loaf. “What?”

“He didn’t know it was you, no mask and in a First Order uniform. He assumed, because of how casual you were around me, I suppose, that you were some new love interest. Which doesn’t make any logical sense, like where would I meet someone and then just stick them in a uniform and have them follow me around the ship? But it is pretty funny.”

Ren cocked an eyebrow, an almost defensive edge in his voice. “Why is it funny?”

“Because you are most definitely not my boyfriend? And you force choked him a few days ago and he didn’t make the connection?”

“Oh,” said Ren. “I guess that is funny.” But Ren didn’t laugh.

“So, uh...what do you do? Besides ruining my ship with your lightsaber.”

Ren looked at Hux quizzically. “You mean, like, for fun?”

“Yes, Ren. For fun.”

Ren thought hard. He didn’t really do anything he would consider fun. “Meditate. Work out. Maim and kill enemies.”

Hux stared in disbelief. “Those aren’t exactly hobbies, Ren. That’s your job.”

“My job is my life. Isn’t yours?”

“It’s a big part of it, certainly,” said Hux. “But I also enjoy unwinding when I have the time. Reading, or taking a long bath, or playing chess. Don’t you do anything like that?”

“I played Dejarik a lot when I was younger.”

Hux forced a smile. “Well there you are.” Ren simply nodded once, curtly, then returned his focus to his meal. Hux studied him. What was once hate was turning into pity. Probably not what Snoke hoped for, but an improvement. This poor man across from him had nothing in his life but carrying out the whims of his master. No pleasures. How sad.  
Ren could feel Hux pity him from across the table. But I’m the one who should be pitying him, he thought. This man’s life is so devoid of meaning he thinks himself superior to a Knight of Ren who is devoting his life to the greatest cause in the world. The poor General—he presses some buttons, gives some speeches, tells himself he’s doing something important, and then has a drink and reads some fictional nonsense to make himself feel good. He’s nothing but a replaceable cog with hedonistic ideals. Ren didn’t hate him so much as pity him. He was still irritating, though. Couldn’t he let a man eat lunch in peace?

And so the day went on. More menial tasks and bickering. The next was filled with silence. The third was productive, and the two even shared a few laughs at the expensive of their subordinates, before realizing that fraternizing was useless for two men as powerful with them. All they needed to do was be able to cooperate. And they were getting there. Getting close, indeed.


	3. 3

The evening of the third day of Snoke’s strange experiment, Hux invited Ren to his quarters to show him his home-office set up.

“As you can see, my workday is never really over,” said Hux, gesturing to various datapads and file folders strewn across two gunmetal desks. 

“Neither is mine,” Ren shot back, defensive.

“Easy, boy.” Hux chuckled. “I know. Your work is your life is your work and all that. Sit down, Employee of the Year.”

Ren sat down, butt on the edge of Hux’s leather sofa. Hux sat down across from him in his reclining chair. The few luxuries afforded to someone of his rank. He poured a glass of wine for himself from the serving stool to his right. “Want some?” Hux offered.

Ren shook his head. With his hair out of his face (pulled back in a few small braids leading into a bun—the long messy mane was not First Order regulation, of course), he looked quite handsome, Hux thought. Not so severe. “I don’t drink,” Ren said. “Alcohol is a needless distraction.”

Hux laughed in his funny little way, a sharp puff of air from his nostrils and a smirk. “What else a needless distraction in your opinion, Ren?”

“Games and sports. Certain intellectual pursuits. Friendships. Sex.”  
Hux nearly choked on his wine. “You’re a man without any sort of needs, then, Ren?”

“The only thing I need is the Force.”

“You get drunk on the Force?” Hux teased.

Ren spoke very seriously. “In a way, yes.”

“And you fuck the Force?”

This time, Ren almost smiled, a bit of humor shining in his rich voice. “More like the Force fucks me.”

Hux laughed heartily at that and poured a second glass of wine. He slid it towards Ren. “In case you change your mind,” Hux said. It sounded like maybe he wasn’t just talking about the wine.

Not much time later, Hux was teaching Ren to play Imperial Chess. Hux had had 4 glasses of wine. Ren was beginning his second. He knew he shouldn’t, but it wasn’t interfering with the Force like he’d been taught it would. All it did was make him feel warm and a bit fuzzy. What was the big deal?

“I could attack your Emperor easily,” Hux smirked. “You’ve made yourself vulnerable.”

“Huh?” Ren looked at Hux in confusion. Hux simply pointed to the chessboard, where his Stormtrooper was just one square diagonal from Ren’s Emperor.

“Right. Um. Ok.” Ren moved his piece carefully and Hux hummed as if contented. He smiled at him, approving of his clever move. Ren smiled back, shyly.

“You’re not so terrible, Ren,” Hux sighed, swallowing down the last of his glass. “I almost kind of tolerate you.”

Ren felt even fuzzier. Damn wine. “I almost kind of tolerate you, too, Hux.” And then he did something he couldn’t explain. He slid his hand across the smooth vinyl of the chess set, knocking over pieces without a thought. His fingers found Hux’s. Wrapped around them loosely. Then, tighter. A squeeze. Hux and Ren locked eyes.

“Ren?”

“Do you mind?” 

Hux shook his head, blinking slowly. “No. Um, no, I don’t mind.” Hux brought up his free hand and feathered it lightly against Ren’s cheek. He expected a feeling akin to cold marble, but it was soft and warm, with a bit of rough stubble contrasting. They exchanged a smile. Ren brought Hux’s delicate hand to his lips.

Pressing a soft kiss to the tips of Hux’s long fingers, head lowered, he looked up at Hux through his thick dark lashes. Pink spread across Hux’s face. 

“You’re, um,” Hux managed barely more than a whisper, “you’re a very different person than I thought you were, Ren.”

“Kylo.”

Hmm?”

“Call me Kylo.” Ren said, then added: “Please.”

Hux smirked. “Kylo Ren asking me for something, not demanding it? That I could get used to.”

Ren rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Shut up.”

“Any other requests?”

“K-” Ren took a deep breath. Was it humiliating to ask for this? Or liberating? Powerful? He looked up at Hux, that beautiful face, those glowing eyes. Soft, yet powerful. He could be, too. “Kiss me? Please?”

Hux obliged.


	4. 4

Hux and Ren stood before Snoke, in their own clothes, waiting. A major shift in their relationship had occurred indeed. Hux reached for Ren’s hand and squeezed it briefly, the leather of their gloves touching making a slight squeak. They smiled. Separated. Tried to act normal. Tried not to make the adolescent butterflies in their stomach apparent to the Supreme Leader. He had wanted them to get along, but probably not this well.

The projector whirred to life. Snoke appeared before them.

“Well?” He asked.

“Supreme Leader, this week has taught us many valuable lessons,” Hux said in his clear, clipped accent. Ren remembered enjoying how it sounded when they were together on the couch, wine-filled, or in bed the following morning, drowsy. A lazier cadence, then. More sing-songy, and with softer edges. It was a good thing Ren was wearing his helmet—he was grinning uncontrollably at the thought.

“Such as?” Snoke grilled.

“I’ve learned that Ren is very talented and capable of important things,” Hux said. “He is a smarter, kinder individual than I previously thought. With many brilliant ideas. Whom I feel fortunate to work aside.”

Snoke’s strange face was hard to read, but it might’ve been one of pleasant surprise. “Ren?” he asked.

“Supreme Leader, General Hux is extremely intelligent and hardworking. I once saw him as a pencil-pusher, I suppose. But now I see that the work he does is important, and he does it well. He is patient yet commanding, brilliant yet personable. I see the value in him now. I am looking forward to cooperating with him in order to advance the First Order.”

Snoke clapped his hands together. It was a bit...uncharacteristic. “Well. I am very pleased. This worked much better than I hoped for. I…thank you. You are dismissed.” 

Snoke did not click off right away, so Ren and Hux bowed, then turned and exited the hall. When they were a safe distance away, Hux leaned close to Ren, their shoulders brushing, and whispered. “My quarters in 30?”

“Yes, General,” said Ren. And the two went off to complete their respective duties.


End file.
